Don't you remember
Guy in my class: Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.
Teacher: You're assuming that all gay teachers are paedophiles.
Guy: Well...yeah.
Teacher: Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you
jk rowling’s reasoning as to why fenrir greyback turned remus into a werewolf: remus’s father insulted him so he did it as an act of revenge

the actual reason greyback bit remus: the temptation to succumb to the fact that biting remus whose name literally means ‘werewolf mcwerewolf’ would be the greatest feat in lycanthropic irony the world had ever seen

therealallecto:

scaredpotter:

the slytherins making a drinking game where they take a shot every time draco malfoy talks about harry potter

also known as the night Madam Pomfrey had to save an entire dormitory from alcohol poisoning

High-School Teachers: You need to be professional when you go to college. High-School dress-code reflect what COLLEGE classes expect you to wear.
Actual College Student: I know this class is at 5:00 pm, but I'm wearing pajama pants and a tank top.
Actual College Professor: lol same.
Get to know me : Favourite childhood games

↳ Pokémon Stadium 

deanshuggybear:

fozmeadows:

In which seven cats all discover the same slightly elevated flat thing and claim it as their own while pretending the other six cats don’t exist.

game of thrones

deanshuggybear:

fozmeadows:

In which seven cats all discover the same slightly elevated flat thing and claim it as their own while pretending the other six cats don’t exist.

game of thrones

baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it

voldy92:

there is nothing rarer and more beautiful than liking every song on an album

siriusdraws:

YOU KNOW HOW YOU PLAY A GAME THEN LOOK AT YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER AND GO LIKE 'NAH MAN, I'VE ROMANCED YOU LIKE 6 TIMES I'M GONNA TRY SOMEONE ELSE' BUT THEN THEY DO THE THING AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU’VE TRIPPED AND FALLEN ON THEIR DICK

wiseyoungravenclaw:

Remus Arthur Potter, you were named after two men who looked out for my safety and cared about my well-being out of altruism and decency rather than because I was a tool for them to use or because I was someone’s son.